The transition from college to the real world hit me like a truck. There were no more “Congratulations” balloons. They were replaced with daunting questions, like “What are you doing next?”, “When are you going to get a job?”, and my favorite “ When are you going to move out of your parent’s house?”

I had no answers, and my future was in limbo. I began to worry about my shaky future, what did it look like if I couldn’t answer those questions? The pandemic certainly didn’t help, because it gave me time to question and to think about every decision I had ever made. I spent half of my nights in tears, and the other half looking up at the ceiling wondering why I even went to college?

It all became too much. I started to hate seeing family members, and old friends. I even started to hate social media, because only on social media I could compare others lives to mine. They were progressing, and I wasn’t. It felt like everyone’s life was moving, while mine was at a standstill. 

I was rejected by the only thing millennials are good at, social media, but not only was I rejected by social media. I was rejected by countless jobs. Due to the pandemic, jobs were not handing out entry level positions. I always had this “go to college, get a job, and get married to prince charming” plan. It was an overwhelming sadness that my plan wasn’t being executed. I was feeling emotions that I didn’t understand, nor could I control. I felt as if I was in the ocean, in the middle of a storm without a lifejacket. I remember telling myself “If I die now it’ll be easier because people will remember me for my past accomplishments, not what I didn’t complete.” 

It was bad. I was not okay. I’m still not okay somedays, but I have come to the conclusion where I am in life, is where I am supposed to be. I cannot rush my timeline. The wonderful job, and Prince Charming will come and it will be even sweeter because I truly had patience.